There seems to be an endless supply of relationship tips out there and while some may provide you with just the trick you need to make your love life better, others can be either contradictive or they simply do not apply to you. In the end, you may be left feeling even more confused and discouraged than you did when you initially asked for advice in the first place.
While there is no instruction manual out there that will tell you how to create the perfect relationship, there are plenty of relationship tips that you don’t need to hear if you truly believe that you have found the one.
Here are some bad relationship tips (typically given by people who aren’t in a relationship themselves!) that you should stop listening to right now.
Wait 3 Days to Call or Text Back
If you treat your relationship like a game, someone is going to end up the loser. IF you want to, call back within the next 24 hours, says Simon Marcel Badinter, the host of “The Rendezvous with Simon and Kim” on iHeart Radio. “It has to be honest and spontaneous if you want to be respected and start a healthy relationship.”
Don’t Reveal too much – especially your enthusiasm for someone new
A little mystery may go a long way and be sexy in the very beginning, and you don’t want to reveal EVERYTHING during your initial date, but the “keep them guessing game” gets old fast. Even research shows that playing too hard to get makes others like you less.
It’s Ok to Settle
No, actually it’s not OK. “There’s nothing wrong with holding out for the partner of your dreams. We’re living far too long to settle for second or third rate mates,” says licensed marriage and couples therapist Dr. Paul Hokemeyer. Settling will also likely end up in a fast marriage and even faster divorce as neither of you got into the relationship for the right reasons.
Lower Your Standards to Meet Someone
There is nothing wrong with having standards when it comes to the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with. While everyone should have realistic expectations, lowering your standards to the point where you are swiping right on everyone is just bad advice. “We are all imperfect and we all have flaws, so maintain your three most important standards, but learn to compromise also,” says Badinter.
Make a Point by Giving Your Partner the Silent Treatment
Letting your partner say their peace and giving them the silent treatment are two different things. And you want to have a mature relationship, not one that is based on childish tendencies. Whether it is purposely waiting to text back or just not speaking to your partner, the silent treatment is bad advice, and its immature. “Communication is important to any relationship. Think about it. Prisons use solitary confinement as punishment,” says relationship expert Michelle Crosby.
Learn to Become Irresistible
Here is some better advice, take all the dating tips that tell you how to become a love-magnet and thrown them from your window. Being “irresistible” is a terrible goal to strive for because it’s almost impossible and you’ll kill yourself even trying. “It will only make you more insecure. Your goal is to be YOU and to only look for someone who loves who YOU are,” says relationship psychotherapist Ken Page, the author of “Deeper Dating.”
Wait Until the Guy Makes the First Move
This type of dating advice may have been appropriate 50 years ago, but this is just an old-school tradition that has to go. Badinter says, “if you feel it, make yourself noticeable. There are many ways for women to make the first move, like just looking at a guy in the eyes for a few seconds.” Or try texting a funny joke or comment. Trust your intuition, and not your insecurity.
Don’t Have Sex Until After the Third Date
Where did this number even come from? Have sex when you and your partner are ready, willing and able. That could be after the third date, third month or third hour. As Hokemeyer says, “The key is to follow your heart, and don’t be pressured by some external force or expectation.”
Learn How to Seduce Him/Her
Flip your hair, bat your eyes, meet her gaze. There seems to be an endless list of seduction tactics for both men and women. “Mostly the skills of seduction involve projection an inauthentic type of ultra-confidence which most don’t have, nor do they need to.” Says Page. “Don’t waste your time on the skills of seduction, they’ll actually keep you from love.”